LOVE.

It's funny how much things can change in a short amount of time. Before I had Apollo, when Kev and I were a D.I.N.K couple (Double Income No Kids), life was super selfish. It was me, me, me ALL the time. I hated staying at home on the weekends... it was soooooooo boring to me. I craved action all the time. I wanted to go out and see and be seen. I always had good stories to tell when the weekend was through. Then when I became pregnant, which was a complete unplanned suprise for us, I really struggled to accept it and realize how much my life would change. In the past, the people I always looked up to were the ones who had a lot of 'action' goin on in their lives. The ones who moved to exotic locations, opened up interesting businesses,  partied at cool places, were super fashionable and hip, etc. When I would run into someone from high school and I found out that all they had done in the years since was have a family, I almost kind of looked down on them, as if I was so much hipper and 'in-the-know' and I'd think how much they'd let themselves go and 'age' in their looks. I was a total D.I.N.K snob.
Then after Apollo was born, of course I was in love with my new baby, but again I struggled to maintain my pre-baby life. I wore heels to the grocery store, made sure my makeup was on everyday, tried to make sure my outfits were still cool, etc. Pretty soon, all the extreme tiredness and overwhelming job of taking care of a baby and the house started to wear me down. When I ran into someone I knew, and I didn't look my best, I totally stressed about it, thinking that they would now start thinking that I had let myself go and that I was all 'mom' and uncool now. Isn't that ridiculous?? Anyway, it's the way I felt.
One day as I was watching the ever ingenious and wonderful Oprah, she said something that totally struck me. She said:

"Forget about who you used to be, and allow yourself to become WHO YOU ARE."

Isn't that brilliant?? It fits so many situations with so many people I know. I can't even remember what topic she was discussing or with who, but it was the perfect message for me. I wrote that down in my little idea/thought book on November 8, 2010.
Now I can say that now, in August 2011, I am finally feeling that I am allowing myself not only to become who I am, but I am enjoying it. Now there is no where else I would rather be on a friday or saturday night, than tinkering around my beautiful, cozy house, painting my nails or flipping through a magazine, knowing that my hubby's hanging out watching tv in the basement, and that my sweet baby boy is asleep down the hall. It fills me to the brim with contentment and love!
I am no longer worried about what I am missing when I don't go out, or if I run into an old coworker and my hair is in a bun again, and I have ketchup on my hoodie, and I'm in flipflops with chipped toenails. LOL... shit I HAVE let myself go!!! But the thing is, is that it doesn't bother me anymore! Like the famous song Turn, Turn, Turn by The Byrds says "To Everything there is a season."
Right now, in my life, my season is to mother, and to nurture, and to take care of people I love. My season for action and high heels will once again return, but now I am in no rush. :)

P.S. But please believe that I ALWAYS have makeup on still....no matter how tired and haggard the rest of me is! LOL

P.S. Isn't Forrest Gump an awesome movie??? I totally feel like watching it now! LOL